And when I opened the cupboard door I felt a shift in the air, it crept up my back and ran around my face, a shiver made me cold. I continued around the rest of the vast house, I found a sign, it read 'WARNING if you trespass you will suffer for the rest of your life' and suddenly I felt a hand on my head and I saw a man behind me and then I was gone. News report a girl gone missing 14 days ago and now found in the house on the lake greenwood house she was found in a cupboard with her eyes ripped out blood running down her face she was waring a white gown ripped and covered in blood you can hear her cry and scream her name and the killers name she was killed by an axe and the axe was in her head and a spider crawled out of her eye greenwood house is truly haunted so it will be shut down and knocked down and I felt a hand on my shoulder and then I was gone.
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Hi Shanon - this is a scary piece of writing (I wonder if younger readers would be too scared!) I really like your opening sentence as it contains some wonderful description and also the feelings of the character.
ReplyDeleteI did find some of it quite gruesome. Read over and check for punctuation - there is one very long sentence.
Keep up your writing